The Unfortunate Cali-Roll Auto-Pilot Oversight

You know that whole phenomenon when you're driving, and you just mentally check out, and end up arriving at your destination with no memory of how you got there?

That sort of happened to me, except instead of driving I was eating...and I totally remember everything...so I guess it's not a perfect analogy.

Whatever. The point of the comparison is AUTO-PILOT.

I'm not really sure how the whole auto-pilot phenomenon works. I assume it's like when the conscious part of your brain checks out for a bit and your habits take over. In my case, my habits led me to eat a California Roll. And I didn't even figure out what I had done until the next day.

Week the Sixteenth was a doozy. My Acting class was presenting their class play, which made for a hectic week and later evenings. On Wednesday 16.0, opening night, I placed a sushi order for myself after school...2 California rolls and an avocado roll. Since adopting a plant-based diet, the only sushi I've ordered have been avocado and yam tempura rolls, so I'm really not sure how I ended up ordering a Cali roll, but I did.

I guess that could be forgivable...it would have been easy enough to find a hungry teenager to take it off my hands that evening upon realizing my mistake. The only problem is, I didn't realize my mistake.

You'd think after picking up the sushi, bringing it back to school, opening the take-out container and seeing what was in front of me I would have tuned in to the fact that there was fish in that sushi roll. Yah, I didn't. I suppose that could be forgiven too. I mean, it was a crazy, hectic day. I was surrounded by nervous and excited students getting ready to go on stage in 3 hours. I still had programs to make and other last minute details to take care of before doors opened. It was understandable that I was functioning on auto-pilot when it came to my dinner and that I would overlook the contents of the take-out I had ordered.

Surely after taking the first bite I would realize my error.

Surely after taking the first bite the taste of pollock would register, and my brain would snap out of auto-pilot mode and make me realize I AM EATING FISH.

FISH HAVE PARENTS AND FACES.

FISH ARE NOT VEGAN.

Well, I took the first bite. And no warning bells went off, nor did any red flags begin waving.

Again, perhaps this could also be understood. I mean, I wasn't really focussing on eating. I was dealing with last minute questions about costumes and set details, and trying to keep 22 kids on task, and trying to make sure that the music they were playing didn't have any naughty words or naughty innuendo (apparently 17 year olds don't think songs about sweat dripping down someone's balls are inappropriate to play at a school event). The whole eating thing was kind of an afterthought.

Yes, I was busy, and yes, I began eating my sushi without realizing that I was eating FISH, WHICH HAS PARENTS AND A FACE. But surely I wouldn't get through the entire meal without figuring this out.

I got through the entire meal without figuring it out.

I even ran out of soy sauce and had to take my sushi down to the staff room to get more. The change of location didn't trigger the reality that I was EATING A CALIFORNIA ROLL AND CALIFORNIA ROLLS AREN'T VEGAN.

AND I'M NOT JUST EATING AN ANIMAL PRODUCT...I'M EATING AN ANIMAL. HELLO??

HELLO??

Yah. Nothing.

I consumed my two cali rolls and my avocado roll.

I didn't realize what I had eaten after I was finished.

I didn't realize what I had eaten after the play ended with its rousing Bollywood dance number to cheers galore.

I didn't realize what I had eaten when I went to bed that night.

I didn't realize what I had eaten when I woke up the next morning, or went to work, or came home from work, or warmed up some soup upon arriving home from work.

It wasn't until later that afternoon (Thursday 16.0), watching Dr. Oz, getting ready to leave for the second night of the play and getting ready to phone in another sushi order that it hit me.

I had eaten a California roll the day before.

CALIFORNIA ROLLS (the cheap ones that aren't made with crab) HAVE FISH AND FISH HAVE PARENTS AND FACES AND ARE NOT VEGAN.

Holy crap. How did that happen?

Why was I just figuring this out now...24 hours later?

WTF? Seriously.

I called Rob the Husband to confess my unintentional fall from grace. You see, while I won't label myself a vegan until the day that I have no animal products in my house, until I know I will never cheat with dairy, and until I figure out if it's "vegan" or "a vegan", I have become perfectly comfortable with the Vegetarian label.

And yah, I sort of effed that up big time.

Rob just laughed and said that his record is officially better than mine now. Ass. 

I'll just have to mush up some foie gras or horse meat or veal or baby dolphin into his veggie pate. Then I'll definitely be back on top.

I suppose it could have been worse. Some people still consider themselves veggies even though they eat fish. I don't really agree with that, but everyone defines the labels as they see fit, and in my case I guess there are worse things I could have screwed up with accidentally eating (like foie gras or horse meat or veal or baby dolphin).

Can I even call it an accident? Not really. I knew I was eating a Cali-roll. Auto-pilot oversight would be more appropriate.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, for Week the Sixteenth we didn't try any new Kind Diet recipes, but made a couple of cool discoveries.

On Tuesday 16.0 I made an awesome salad with Little Creek dressing, as per the recommendation of my friend Heather.

This dressing and Rob's croutons (the same ones he makes from Alicia's cookbook for Caesar salad) made this salad spectacular. The falafels were Veggie Patch...pretty good, but Rob liked them better than I did.

On Sunday 16.0 Rob made lunch! He has an app called 21 Day Vegan Kickstart, and he tried a recipe called Missing Egg Sandwich. It's an "egg" salad sandwich made with silken tofu, and it's tangy and creamy and delicious!

And unlike his last cooking attempt, the house didn't end up smelling like it had been doused with cumin scented Febreeze.